Livin' It Up Law School Style

Today after work, I need to go to Wal-Mart

2006-09-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

There's a whole bunch of stuff I need to get, including:
laundry detergent
a set of pillow cases
some hair care stuff
cough drops
socks
printer paper
etc.

Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

random thought on 9/11 at 7:45 am

2006-09-11T05:50:00.000-07:00

If I say I drink tons of orange juice daily, then say I practically drink my body weight in orange juice daily, does that imply that I think my body weight is practically tons?

And now, a serious moment of silence in remembrance of the heroes and innocent victims of 9/11/2001.

Almost done with Week 4

2006-09-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'm almost through Week 4 of my second to last semester of law school. It's kind of scary how fast it's going by. It's also scary to think that at this time in 2000, which seems like only yesterday, I was just getting into my senior year of highschool. Time really flies when you're busy, I guess.

Katrina: 1 year later

2006-08-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

This time last year, Hurricane Katrina was ravaging the Gulf Coast. Within hours, the City of New Orleans would be inundated in floodwaters that took weeks to recede. It feels like only yesterday, but 365 have come and gone.

We're still here.

I don't want to lose my head today ...

2006-08-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

I have so much stuff to get done. Trying to survive law school with a broken wrist is not fun. Especially b/c it swells when I type, and if I don't type during class I stop paying attention and daydream. Daydreaming isn't good for success in law school. Law school takes concentration and an attention to detail.

Wish me luck finding a new, comfortable pair of knock around shoes in my size. That's the least important of my errands!

mother(bleep)ing Ernesto

2006-08-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

we still don't have pumps that will function at the heads of the Orleans Ave. or 17th St. canals.

The floodwalls that were total crap to begin with haven't been fully repaired.

Within 4 days, we could have a hurricane sitting on top of us.

4 days. That's August 30, 2006.

August 30, 2005 is a day I remember well. Up here in Baton Rouge, I had no power. I still believed my childhood home to be underwater with the rest of Lakeview. Cellphones didn't work. Landline phones didn't work. Ginger was staying with me - and so was her dog, Buck. We'd go to restaurants with power just to see what was on tv. To try to find out what had become of home. To find out if there was a home. I'm one of the lucky ones.

Rome wasn't built in a day, no, but I bet the Romans with their organization could have built floodwalls and/or levees and installed pumps that wouldn't vibrate themselves into oblivion when turned on if given a year.

Nothing else feels important.

Tropical Depression 5 making me nervous

2006-08-25T04:13:00.000-07:00

If tropical depression 5 continues strengethening and heading toward the Gulf, I'll continue getting more and more nervous. We're 4 days shy of the 1-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Emotions are running ragged. New Orleans is in no way prepared for a hurricane right now, due in great part to the Corps of Engineers constant mistakes and inability to work within a schedule.

Keep the Gulf Coast in your thoughts this season.

Encounter at the Pearly Gates

2006-08-20T18:00:00.001-07:00

When Abu Musab al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly
Gates. Washington slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you
try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!?"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You
wanted to end our liberties - but you failed, jerk!"

James Madison followed, kicked him hard in the groin and said, "This is
why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next. He waited until al-Zarqawi had stopped
retching after Madison's blow to his privates. Then he started wailing
on al-Zarqawi with a long cane, snarling, "It was evil men like you who
inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and
66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

Finally, as Abu Musab al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, the Angel
Gabriel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you
promised me!"

Gabriel replied, "I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for
you in Heaven. What the hell did you think I said?"

Email from my dad

2006-08-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember.........

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss... the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13 Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

New Orleans Saints

2006-08-19T04:26:00.000-07:00

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans
Saints.
>
>
>
>The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
>colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a
>ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in
Afghanistan.
>In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim
soldier
>with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a
window
>from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a
chimney, and
>then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour. I've got to get this
guy!"
>coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great
game
>of football ....... and sure enough the Saints go on to win the Super
Bowl.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the coach
asks
>him what he wants; all the young man wants to do is call his mother.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
>
>
>
>"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You
deserted us.
>You are not my son."
>
>
>
>
>"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won
the
>greatest sporting event in the world!"
>
>
>
>
>"No! Let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment there
are
>gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
>brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
have to
>keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
>
>
>
>
>The old lady pauses then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for
>making us move to New Orleans!

My (bleep)ing arm

2006-08-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

I broke my wrist yesterday playing softball. My cast matches my blog. I'm cool!

School's Started Back

2006-08-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

Well, the 3rd year begins with a bang, here at LSU. We had Trial Advocacy for 3 days last week, which was 8 am to 6 pm practicing how to put on a trial. We learned how to conduct voir dire on potential jurors, how to give opening and closing statements, how to do direct, cross, and re-direct examination of witnesses, how to impeach witnesses, how to pose objections, and just about anything else you've seen done on Law & Order. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, but I'm glad it's over.

This semester, I'm taking Conflicts of Laws, Successions and Donations, Security Devices, International Litigation and Arbitration, and Advanced Trial and Evidence. Security Devices is going to be a total beast, and I've heard the exam for Int'l Lit & Arbitration is absolutely horrific, but I'll survive. I always do. At least I have Mengis for Successions - he rocks my socks off, and Advanced Trial and Evidence doesn't have an exam.

You Know You're From Louisiana If ...

2006-08-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

Here are some ways to know if you're a true Louisianian...

1. You can properly pronounce Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches,
Opelousas, Shongaloo, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and you know
that New Orleans doesn't have a long "e" sound anywhere in it

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states
are pussies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard
and look for a funnel.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not
determined by the distance to the door, but by the
availability of shade.

5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.

7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

9. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special
occasions.

10. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to
the ocean.

11. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an
outfit.

12. You know cowpatties are not made of beef.

13. Someone you know has used a LSU football schedule to
plan their wedding date.

14. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger
than your fist.

15. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and
bait all in the same store.

16. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Ford F-250
Extended Bed Crew Cab Powerstroke is a status symbol.

17. You know everything goes better with 'Tony's'.

18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how
to multiply

19. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them
to your friends.

20. You're not offended by the term "coonass." If anything,
it's a compliment.

Finally, you are 100% Louisianian if you have ever had this
conversation:

"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr Pepper."

No, I'm not anti-marriage

2006-08-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

My dad sent this to me.

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage
and after marriage.

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Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.? "I've been divorced three times."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

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Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: All the DNA is the same.

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-
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly,"So which six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?

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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said . "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.

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The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?" Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man." Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives." Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

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A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request,dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But I thought you hated Bob," she said. With his last breath John said, "I do!"

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-
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

Recipe: Smashed Onion Garlic Cheeseburgers (not diet food!)

2006-07-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Smashed Onion Garlic Cheese Burgers

Ingredients:
- 1 medium egg
- 1 lb. raw ground beef
- 1 vidalia onion
- 1 clove garlic
- pinch of salt
- cracked pepper
- 1 block sharp cheddar cheese
- 1 carton fresh mushrooms
- olive oil
- lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, pickles, etc.
- extra large croissants, buns, or brioche

Procedure:
- skin the onion, and chop it up haphazardly
- skin the garlic clove
- place the skinned chopped onion and skinned garlic on a chopping board
- whack the onion and garlic together into smush with a wooden mallet
- place the ground meat into a bowl with a pinch of salt and some cracked pepper
- crack the egg, and add it to the ground meat
- by hand, mix the egg into the ground meat
- add the onion garlic mush to the egg and meat mixture, mixing it all together thoroughly
- form the mixture into patties, and cook on the grill like normal hamburgers
- while the burger patties are grilling, sauté the mushrooms in olive oil until soft
- grate the cheese
- once the burgers are done, put them on the bread, add the fresh grated cheese and sautéed mushrooms, and any other condiments to taste

Recipe: Bonne Crevette Italiana

2006-07-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

Bonne Crevette Italiana

Ingredients:
- 5 lbs fresh shrimp shell on, or the equivalent in bagged pre-shelled shrimp
- 1 can cream of mushroom soup
- 2 cans cream of asparagus soup
- 3 creole tomatoes
- ½ bag baby spinach
- Garlic powder
- Lemon pepper
- Parmesan cheese
- Angel hair pasta

Procedure:
- Shell the shrimp and de-vein them
- Dice the tomatoes
- Pour lemon pepper and garlic powder into a large freezer bag
- Put the shrimp in the bag and shake it up so the shrimp are coated
- Pour the 3 cans of soup into a large, relatively high sided pan (not a pot, though)
- Heat on medium to medium low
- Dump in the shrimp, and stir
- When the shrimp start to turn a little pink, add the spinach
- When the shrimp are almost done, add the tomatoes
- Cook for about 5-7 more minutes, during which time you boil the angel hair
- Pour the Bonne Crevette over the angel hair pasta, and add parmesan cheese to taste

The proper side items for Bonne Crevette Italiana are fresh French Bread from Winn Dixie and a mixed greens salad with balsamic vinegar and parmesan cheese.

To make a lighter version of this dish, substitute olive oil for the soup (just enough to well-cover the bottom of the pan, adding more as necessary as it cooks), but otherwise follow a similar procedure. You’ll probably want to use less of the spices on the shrimp initially, because there isn’t as much gravy to spread it out.

Recipe: Creole Lemon Pepper Chicken

2006-07-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

This is really versatile. You can do almost anything with the chicken once it's cooked. I've included a few suggestions, but there are many more things.

Creole Lemon Pepper Chicken

Ingredients:

- 2 boneless chicken breasts

- ½ cup Creole Seasoning OR ¼ Vidalia onion, chopped, with green and yellow bell pepper, chopped, and 1 tsp. minced garlic

- Lemon pepper

- Salt free Tony Cacheres seasoning (Lawrys works, too)

- Garlic powder

- Olive oil (or butter if you dont like olive oil, and want a thicker sauce)

Directions:

- Slice up the chicken breast into little bite-size squarish pieces about ½x ½

- Turn the stove on medium/medium high

- Pour enough olive oil to cover the bottom of the pan

- Put the chicken in the pan, and pour on the Creole Seasoning or Onion/Pepper/Garlic mix

- Keep stirring so nothing sticks to the pan, and sprinkle on the lemon pepper and garlic powder

- Once the outside of the chicken turns corpse-white, add the Tonys seasoning

- Keep stirring the mixture. The chicken will turn cooked, and the onion will turn a clear brown. Add as much lemon pepper and Tonys as youd like the more the better in my book. Keep adding it throughout, so some of it cooks in, but some of it's still obviously there.

Once the chicken is cooked through very well because salmonella sucks, its done and ready to serve.

Serving Suggestions:

- Straight out of the pan, you can pour it with its sauce over cooked pasta (fettuccine works well with this, as does rigatoni)

- You can place the chicken into a tortilla with feta, black olives, and spinach, and make a wrap

- You can slice fresh French bread, add lettuce, tomato, mustard, and medium cheddar cheese, and make a poboy

- You can refrigerate it, and add it to salads

- You can mince it up with ricotta cheese, stuff it into pasta shells, and melt parmagiana and mozzarella on top in the oven

I'm Gonna Start Posting Recipes

2006-07-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

Mind you, while I've been cooking for quite some time, I don't measure a damn thing. I season to taste. I like things spicier and hotter than a lot of people. Just do what feels right with the spices.

These recipes are nothing fancy, but they're relatively easy to prepare, and they taste really good, at least to me and my friends.

Almost To My Goal!!!!

2006-07-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Those who know me know I'm tiny. I'm just under 5'1" tall, though my license has said I was 5'2" since I was 15 and got it - and back then I was barely 4'11"! All my young life, I struggled to gain weight. I poured protein powder on almost everything I ate, and I ate a LOT. But I was so active, between soccer, rock climbing, hiking, canoeing, running, cheerleading, and riding horses that nothing I did could put the weight on. I graduated highschool at a whopping 83 lbs.

In college, I finally managed to get my weight up over 90 lbs for the first time in my life, and I felt great about that success. I finally evened out at about 92-95 lbs, which I maintained by eating a lot and exercising a lot all the way up until Hurricane Katrina. Post Katrina, I ate a lot, cried a lot, and didn't get any exercise other than slogging through flooded houses. My metabolism shut down. I noticed my clothes were getting tight, so I stepped on the scale about 3 months after the storm. 110 lbs! What the hell! But I had no energy or desire to do anything but eat, still, so I ballooned all the way to 117 lbs by May. In May, I finally got myself back together and started to feel sort of human. And I started working out. And I stopped living at Popeye's and eating a dozen biscuits in one sitting. And now, 2 months later, I have lost 20 lbs, WITHOUT STARVING MYSELF! I think my metabolism just decided to start up again, because it hasn't been particularly hard to lose the weight.

97 lbs. I fit in my clothes again. I'd love to get back to 92-95, but if I stay here, I'll be happy. I have definition in my abs again, finally! w00t!

Doctor Appointment 7/21 at 9 am!!!!

2006-07-06T07:44:00.001-07:00

9 am July 21: REMIND ME!!!!!

I hate going to the doctor, but I need to. Ick, yuck, blah.

exams

2006-07-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

My con law II exam is 2 weeks from today. I'm going to be cutting back my hours at work so I can study. Blah. It's gonna suck. I printed out like 5 years worth of old exams from this professor, and it's looking painful. I hate multiple choice!

The Food of Happyjoy

2006-07-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging about Okra. Deal with it. Lots of people don't like okra, but I absolutely adore it. It's full of delicious wonderfulness. Raw, it's crisp like a snapbean. Brrrled, it's soft and creamy. Fried, it's pure happyjoy for your mouth. You can boil it with crawfish, cut it up and put it in cornbread, fry it and serve it like popcorn, add it to jambalaya or seafood gumbo ... the possibilities are endless.

Further on the subject of food, I need to get rich and famous soon, so I can get a bbq grill and a food processor.

ECW Last Night

2006-06-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm one of those dorks who watches scripted, rehearsed, choreographed professional wrestling. I am well aware of that fact, and can often guess how things will turn out based on who has the lead ab initio and with what moves said lead was gained. That being said, the fight last night between Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam was INCREDIBLE. It actually looked like real wrestling. Kurt Angle's a classic-style low to the ground wrestler, while RVD is known for his kicks. Really, it was just awesome to watch, choreographed or not.

My quest to get back to my pre-Katrina petiteness is really working well. I'm down in the 101-103 lbs range, which is VERY close to my 95-98 goal! Pre-Katrina, I was more in the 91-93 range, but egads that seems like so little, especially after weighing 117 2 months ago. And no, I'm not on the Mary Kate Olsen diet. I'm just working out a LOT, riding horses a LOT, and eating really healthy things. No french fries, no fried chicken, no giant goopy cheeseburgers with fried onions. Lotsa yogurt, lotsa salad, lotsa grilled and baked chicken ... I must confess to missing cheese fries with bacon dripping in BBQ sauce, though.

Cooking With Katrina

2006-06-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

A Compendium of Politically Correct Recipes Developed under Peculiar Circumstances

In the aftermath of last August’s unpleasantness, we saw many images on television, in newspapers, magazines and the ubiquitous Internet (thanks, Al, for this neat invention!) of local folk engaged in activities that some unenlightened persons might conclude were felonious or at the least, may we say, misdemeanorious. Our always helpful mass media have assured us that these images portrayed desperate citizens gathering food, milk, water and diapers to tide (no pun intended) them over until governmental rescue (forgive the oxymoron) was achieved. In order to reconcile what we saw with our eyes with what we were told by the various editors and talking heads, we have spared no expense, but have enlisted the services of that renowned local chef de cuisine and eminence grise of the redoubtable Chaine of Rotisserie Chickens, and Chevalier of the Confraternity of Tasteslikewino, Commander Paul Antwine Galitwarnotlevees, to provide the following recipes for the foodstuffs that made their way across our television sets in the wake (no pun intended) of that infamous tropical cyclone. This is dedicated to our dear friends, Sally, Susie, Bonnie and Jan, magnificent chefs each and every one, who gallantly remained behind, heedless of the mayoral calls for a “voluntary mandatory evacuation” and witnessed firsthand “making groceries Katrina-style.”

Fricassee de Plasma TV
From your local Wally-World-Mart, select a ripe plasma TV (Sony for tenderness or Toshiba if you’re on a budget—but who counts their pennies under these circumstances); drag 6 blocks through 3 feet of water enhanced with Murphy oil
Place in a large All-Clad Dutch Oven—in honor of the engineers who decades ago figured out how to protect valuable commercial and historic sites from the watery onslaughts of Mother Nature but forgot to tell the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (you know, the one you picked up at Williams-Sonoma Canal Place) and bake at 350 degrees until mouth-wateringly tender. Garnish with Brittany Spears CDs
No need to add water, since this recipe has the advantage of using the TV’s own liquid crystal and the Murphy-enhanced water through which the main attraction was dragged away

Grilled Ferragammo Filets
On your new propane grill, liberated from Home Depot, grill your new Italian leather sling backs (sizes 5-7: filets; Sizes 7-9: T-bones; Sizes 10 and up: Big Gal Porterhouses) to desired doneness. Garnish generously with greenbacks freshly scooped from Oakwood Mall’s cash registers—those new 20s and 50s add welcome color to this dish.

Cotelettes de Cuir
Take those leather jackets from Canal Place, drag through 2 feet of Crème GentilLY’, trim into cutlets, place in a triple-ply steel sauté pan from Gentry and simmer in the Merlot from Martin’s on Baronne Street until tender. Serve with Snoop CDs.

Gucci Belt Roulade
Roll those buttery soft belts tightly, secure with gold chains from the Mall, place in that Calphalon roasting pan from Macy’s and roast at 350 degrees until tender. This could take a while, buttery soft though they be. Serve with that case of Super Tuscan you found at Whole Foods

Blackberry Bouillabaisse au Chocolat Renversee
Line a tin pan with carmelized sugar, swirl in those Blackberries you “picked” at Radio Shack and add petit iPods to taste, reverse onto the family Flora Danica, drizzle with melted chocolate from the Godiva shop and garnish with Oxycontin from Walgreen’s on St. Charles for truly painless calories.

Oscar de la Baclava
Drag four evening dresses (size your choice) from Weinstein’s for 6 blocks through three feet of Eau de Chalmette; Air-dry, cut into squares and layer with Black Talon bullets from your local gunshop in that cool spice-colored LeCreuset pan from Williams Sonoma; bake at 350.

All dishes are to be served “hot”, like their ingredients.

As the perfect accompaniment, top your meal off with a nice case of Heineken.

Lest you think we have forgotten the diaper business, what else do you think they were going to do with all those Hermes scarves from Saks?

Headlines from the year 2034

2006-06-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

Headlines from the year 2034

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest

country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White

minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third

language.

Spotted owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and

livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in Bushra, the American

Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria

and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more

years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica!

Castro finally dies at age 115; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,

but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and

reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter

speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their

civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly

swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January,

2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political

contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with

congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Stiff and Sore

2006-06-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

I had no idea how sore you could be 2 days after playing softball for the first time in 11 years. I guess I really did give it my all, even if my all was fundamentally defective ...

good buddy sean

2006-06-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

This is Sean. He went to check on the New Orleans house post-Katrina to rescue stuff for my family. He runs marathons with my dad. He has the 2 cutest little munchkins. He's an Air National Guard officer, he's been a fireman, he's been to Afghanistan, he's a lawyer, and he basically just rocks. He's one of my best friends. Problem is, I compare guys who try to date me to Sean, my grandfathers (both highly decorated ww2 officers), and the rest of my family. The guys who try to date me keep coming up WAY short - in looks, in personality, in drive, in ambition, and in love of country. Blah. It's tough having such kickass friends and relatives, I guess!

softball & old friends

2006-06-22T05:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still a craptastic softball player! w00t! We lost 30-4, which is pretty lame. At 5 at-bats, I didn't strike out once (actually, didn't get a single strike, which was nothing shy of a miracle), but I only made it on base once. I need to work on getting some power into my swing. And let's not talk about me fielding. I throw myself in front of where I think the ball's going, but it's always like 1 foot away. Blah. And I can't catch. I used to be able to catch. At least I was never able to throw, so that inadequacy came as no suprise.

Why can't the law firm play in a soccer league instead?!?! I kick ass thereat!

Last night, I got online on AIM for the first time in ages, and started talking to 2 of my friends from NYC. That was pretty awesome. I miss my boys sometimes.

Poor Hoochie (another one thanks to Mom)

2006-06-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

--A news article from a Florida Newspaper:

"When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV,
his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was
"generic white cardboard box filled with greyish-white
powder." (That at least is the way the police described it.) A
spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said "that it looked
similar to cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the
big time."

Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with
the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my
sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

Well, the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug
dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep.
The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's
ashes remained. And there was this note. It said: "Hoochie
sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted
your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."

Top 5 Hottest Guys (In my sole and humble opinion)

2006-06-20T03:14:00.000-07:00

Listed in no particular order, presenting the top 5 hottest guys I don't have a chance at but still drool over:

1. Johnny Depp (esp. in Pirates of the Caribbean and Sleepy Hollow)

2. Christian Bale (more so in Batman Begins, but also American Psycho)

3. Shawn Michaels (yeah, from WWE, I LOVE Monday Night Raw! Whatchoo gonna do about it, huh? In the immortal words of D-Generation X, if you don't like it, "SUCK IT!")

4. Sean Connery (no list of sexy men is complete without this one)

5. Petr Cech (soccer dude with legs of gorgeous goodness)

You see, I have very varied taste in good-lookin' men. They say variety is the spice of life!

A Little Workplace Humor (thanks, mom!)

2006-06-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for
people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These
were voted the top ten quotes for incorporated America:

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using
individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and
employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in RedmondWA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used
only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important
interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working
on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when
it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told
my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on
the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to
Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to
discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Other Compelling Needs for a Standing Army - TOADS!

2006-06-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

Apparently, Aussies are having toad problems. Imported cane toad problems, to be specific. As my family's calling me to say gleefully that our little fountain in North Carolina now has too resident frogs, the Australian army is being called out to combat toads.

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/18/060618222005.o2wpl6zl.html

Maybe I'm totally nuts, but I think the toads are really cute. However, this does show the problems associated with importing non-native species into an environment to control pests. At least the Australians aren't making the mistake of importing the toads' natural enemy, whatever it is.

Still, I wonder what the troops would think of such an un-glamorous assignment? "Hey honey, I'm back from a long, dangerous day fighting the toad menace!" Riiiiight.

Maybe we could use National Guard troops to help Sheriff Harry Lee's efforts to eradicate the Nutria Menace? And they could do controlled burns to kill off the Japanese Water Hyacinth that clogs so many of New Orleans' drainage canals?

I can't take credit for this, but I love it!

2006-06-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

Its hurricane season again! Monitor developments and take storm prep seriously. See complete details below.

Mandatory evacuation

1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
Clamato
Prune juice

Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof (even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it) if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

Category 5

1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice

Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

Cone of probability

1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone

Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Bryan Norcross say it, drink two shots consecutively.

Feeder band

2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream

After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.

Beach erosion

1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw

Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving you’re a$$ back to New Jersey where it belongs.

Downed power line

1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola

Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television.

Flood zone

2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
4 oz. rum

Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.

Cold shower

2 oz. Blue Aftershock
4 oz. Sprite

Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.

Looters will be shot

1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt

Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his a$$ with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

The chain saw

1 oz. Goldschläger
1 oz. Rumplemintz
3 oz. Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth

Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

Four-way stop

1 1/2 oz. vodka
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano
1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living c#*p out of him.

Blue tarp

1 1/2 oz. Hpnotiq
2 oz. pineapple juice
Splash of lime

Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.

FEMA fizzle

1 oz. Southern Comfort
2 oz. sloe gin
Tonic water
1 nut brownie

One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie. Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, "Doing a heckuva job!"

Livin' it up

2006-06-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

I have no earthly idea what I'm doing this weekend. I know I'm going riding Saturday morning, but what about tonight? What about Saturday night? The only time it sucks to be as single as I am is when I want to go out and do something at night. It's just not safe for a single petite female to go out and get nice and sloshy all by her lonesome. And I'm getting SO sick of being 3rd or 5th wheel while going out with my attached friends. As of 2 weeks ago, I have no un-attached friends. *grumble, grumble, grumble* And might I add that I have no interest in becoming attached any time soon?

Don't Eructate

2006-06-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

We're not supposed to eructate (burp) in class, according to Prof. Baier. Very exciting news.

Oh yeah, and the Supreme Court of the United States said Florida's lethal injection process violated the 8th Amendment's bar on cruel and unusual punishment. The guy's still on death row; he hasn't been released from that. But, now Florida can't inject him by lethal injection.

I wonder what sort of execution isn't cruel and unusual? Hemlock? Single bullet to the heart? Injection of an air bubble into a vein? O.D. of painkillers? Public hanging? Should be interesting to see what they come up with.

Woo-HOOOO!

2006-06-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm getting so excited about the horse show next month. Today, I was working on making the horse stop cutting the corners of the ring. Takes a lot of outside hand and inside leg. But it feels so good to be in such control of the horse. Yeah, I'm a total control freak.

Today, we're discussing private property rights. The court's getting WAY too lax in enforcing these. Hawaii v. Midkiff was bad, but Kelo v. City of New London was dreadful. I don't care if it's taking from the poor and giving to the rich, it's still redistribution, and not by economic factors. It's BAD. Laissez faire economics may not be perfect, but when it comes to unblighted neighborhoods, that theory should apply. Government taking has its purposes, but the taking shouldn't be just to help developers!

This is not supposed to be the United Socialist States.

People need to take some personal responsibility. If someone doesn't want to sell you their house so you can build a mall, then you'll have to either pay a whole lot more than you wanted to, or build elsewhere. Jeez. It seems so obvious. (And my family's in real estate development, yet I still feel this way. Should tell ya something.)

"The Right to Die"

2006-06-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

That's going to be the subject of today's lecture. Yesterday's was abortion. I'm wondering how Baier's going to make today's topic humorous. He managed the get some giggles from the abortion cases, which I didn't think was possible.

Tomorrow, I get to go riding. I wish I had the time (and $$) to ride every day. That would be really super. I also need sunglasses. My mom took both my pairs!

Things You Learn Too Late

2006-06-12T07:42:00.001-07:00

My grandmother's birth name was Elizabeth. She changed it to Jane as a young adult, because she hated being named Elizabeth. I found that out Saturday.

On Saturday, I found out that my grandmother's name was Elizabeth, but she changed it to Jane when she was an adult, because she hated being named Elizabeth.

My weekend was certainly not one I intend to repeat ever again. Friday was nearly impossible. Saturday was an entire day of death - burial at 10:00 a.m., visitation at 4:30 p.m., memorial service at 5:00 p.m., and a reception until 10:00 p.m. But my grandmother's snail-ornament collection has a safe and happy new home on the top shelf of my bookcase in the living room. My cousin Eleanor got the elephants. Right now, it hurts too much to really look at the snails, but I know that as time goes on I'll be glad to have something that meant so much to my grandmother in my home.

Professor Baier was kind enough to meet with me to discuss what we did in class Friday. I was physically present, but my mind was quite far away.

This weekend is going to be spent fixing up my house. It's gotten to be quite a disaster since exams.

sleeeeeeeeeep!

2006-06-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

There are not enough hours in the day to get enough sleep.

RIP

2006-06-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

My grandmother died overnight last night. She was 87. We were really close. I already miss her a lot. She was doing great - fully recovered from her broken leg, walking around, hanging out with her bridge club, no illness ... just went to sleep and didn't wake up. I guess it's how we all want to go, but I'm selfish, and I don't want her gone. Ever. Blogging may be abnormally sparse for a while.

Parking Lot

2006-06-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

The law center parking lot is obnoxious. There aren't enough spaces for law students, in great part because the kids from the University Lab School across the street like to use our parking. The other problem is self-centered, self-important law students who park crooked and over the line, and don't have the "time" to back it up and put it in straight. When I drove the giant silver wagon, it was constantly getting hit by people not paying attention. That's one of the reasons I went for my cute little car. It takes up less room, so people hit it less. It's still somewhat ding-ful, and 100% of said dings came from the LSU law lot.

Other than dreading the parking lot, my day's going great. Did my workout this morning, hoping to see even more of a difference. Still a little bummed over being seemingly the last single gal in the world (overexaggeration) and the fact that there aren't even any guys I know who I'm crushin' on but who don't like me back!

I need to watch some old Disney Movies, like Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella. They got their princes; where's mine????

Con Law II

2006-06-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

It turns out Prof. Baier has a really great sense of humor. Right now, we're discussing Griswold v. Connecticut, which involves the right of married persons to purchase condoms for contraceptive purposes. Apparently, in 1958 CT had a statute that made it illegal to purchase contraceptives, and it was a crime for doctors to explain their use. At the same time, Massachusetts had a similar law, but at least theirs included a provision for the purchase of contraceptives for disease preventive purposes. It's all very exciting, let me tell you.

I just got off a horse, which puts me in a good mood for the day.

I also saw X-Men 3 last night. It was severely kickass, but still very very sad, especially at the end. It kind-of disturbs me when they mess up the characters. This movie went a long way toward making them into who they were in the comics. At first, I was quite skeptical of Ian McKellan as Magneto, he is not particularly physically imposing, while Magneto in the comics was pretty freakin' ripped, especially for an old dude. It was also cool all the random characters they pulled in, including the Toad and Arclight. I didn't catch Magneto's new female sidekick's name, but I'm wondering if she's meant to be Amelia Voght. Also, I was a bit confused by Dark Phoenix being dressed up as Scarlet Witch. I'd really like to see them pull in Apocalypse, now that Warren Worthington III (Woogie, among my friends for a reason I can't remember) is a character. Also, I'd like to see them do an Avalon/Asteroid M scenario - forget the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, I WANT ACOLYTES! Not to mention Genosha, the Starjammers, the Shi'ar, and GAMBIT!

Yeah, I'm an X-Men geek. Deal with it.

Oh, and my best friend since we were like 2 years old just got engaged on Friday. I'm so happy for her - the guy's a real sweetie, and can put up with her, which takes a lot. The only part of that which sucks (because I am selfish and self-centered) is that I am now the only one of my close friends who isn't either married or engaged. Or even dating.

I'm picky. Like, for real picky. I'm sure that my idea of a dream guy isn't everyone's idea, but there are certain things that are absolute necessities before I'll give a guy the time of day. And I just haven't met anybody to whom I'm even remotely attracted. That's probably in great part b/c I'm stuck hanging out with lawyers, and yet I have little interest in them. I prefer someone less argumentative and less cocky than any male lawyer I've met. And I'm just not sympathetic to pseudo-tragedies, like guys who freak out when a cop pulls them over for driving through a blocked construction zone and has the gall to yell at them - but doesn't give a ticket. Always looking at the negative, and not seeing how great it is not to have been ticketed despite obviously being wrong, is a real turn-off. So is being cocky. So is always having to get in the last word.

That's enough ranting about guys. I could go on all day, but who wants to hear the bitter old maid dissin' on the asswipes that surround her? After all, they might be perfectly wonderful guys *snort* and I'm just wrong, right?

Kick Booty Weekend!

2006-06-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

I went to NOLA this weekend to hang out with friends and go to some parties. Friday, my friend Julia and I hit up the Bridge Lounge, then the Red I, then the Howlin' Wolf, and finally ended up at the Balcony Bar. It was a great circuit! Next time, I think I want to hit up Fat Harry's and Bruno's, too. Maybe do an afternoon at The Boot, and wind up at Monkey Hill, in honor of the beloved and much missed A.T.II's.

Saturday was Surge to Reunite & Rebuild at the Lakeview Harbor. Burgers, jambalaya, and TYPHOONS! A 32 oz. typhoon is $8, but has about $10 worth of liquor - it's got rum, tequila, other stuff, and fruit juices. One will knock you on your ass, and they won't sell ya more than 2. That party was a BLAST!

Sunday, I had lunch with my grandmother, then drove home to Baton Rouge.

Today, I have work and school. w00t?

Why I Love Turbo Jam!

2006-06-02T05:27:00.000-07:00

I've been doing Turbo Jam, the aerobics/kickboxing/dance workout series by Chalene Johnson for 2 weeks now. The evil, terrible, horrible Katrina 20 are rapidly going away. You want to know why Turbo Jam is working? Because it's FUN! I actually look forward to my workout every morning, and I love it so much, sometimes I do a short version of it after work, too. It's a MAJOR mood elevator, and Chalene's really motivating. It's cool that the people in the workout video aren't just "fitness models" but real people who really do the workouts.

Seriously, I've almost got back my 6-pack (I've got 3 lines well defined, at least 2 more to go), which I hadn't seen since I had to stop rock-climbing 4 years ago. People I haven't seen since exams, when I was somewhat round, at least by my standards have been coming up to me and saying how great I look.

Yall who know me know I'm not flexible, I'm not particularly coordinated, and I have a bum arm - but I'm able to do these routines with only minimal modification (of the floor work in "turbo sculpt"), and it's really working! I haven't been starving myself, I haven't necessarily kept the best healthy food habits going, but I've still lost 7 lbs in 2 weeks, and 2.5" off my waist alone, not to mention the inches off my hips, thighs, etc!

Things in my life are working out. I'm getting back to my "normal" size, I'm getting back into my comfy normal clothes, I have an awesome job, I'm really having fun horseback riding, and I LOVE getting up in the morning for my workout. And I've NEVER liked working out, even when I was playing soccer, rock climbing, cheerleading, running track - all the things I did in middle school and high school. Now, I don't like working out - I LOVE IT!!!!

My Life As It Stands Today

2006-06-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm really loving my new job. I keep getting new assignments from the partners, which I presume to mean that they like the quality of my work. Beyond that, I'm riding a lot, working out even more, cooking, and going to class.

This weekend should be fun - Lakeview Harbor Party!!! There is very little I like more than GOOD burgers, except maybe seeing Benny Grunch and the Bunch!

Con Law II isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Professor Baier is highly amusing, and makes the class a bit more interesting than it probably should be. I'm trying to memorize memorable quotes already in anticipation of my July 19 exam.

Then, July 25-29, I'll be shipping up to North Carolina for the Blue Ridge Saddlebred/Morgan show. It'll be my very first time ever showing a saddlebred, so I'm pretty excited! Hopefully, I'll be slim enough by then that my suit will actually look good on me!

Ridin' off into the sunset (video requires quicktime to view)

2006-05-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

isn't King a cutiepie?

http://donotspam.org/media/estella053106.mov

more riding pics

2006-05-31T18:11:00.000-07:00

cantering at the far end of the ring

trotting down the rail

Argh! My hands aren't quite even!

Stretching out at the trot

more trotting down the rail

instruction from the Marvelous Marjorie

Reese Witherspoon???

2006-05-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Professor Baier just said I look like Reese Witherspoon when she played June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line"! I LOVE HIM! hehehehe

Con Law II

2006-05-30T05:09:00.000-07:00

Starting Con Law II today with Prof. Baier. I've heard mixed reviews of him, but it can't be unbearable. Okay, potentially, it could be unbearable, but I'll just have to suck it up and deal. But I'm hoping it's as enjoyable as a Maraist class. Evidence and Maritime Personal Injuries were both great classes.

After class, I get to go to work - woohoo! I LOVE MY JOB!

Tomorrow, the plan is to do my AM workout, go horseback riding, go to school, go to work, then do my PM workout! WOW! Yes, I like having a full schedule.

I also need to go shopping at some point in there!

Trip to NC

2006-05-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

My parents are making a trip to North Carolina ... without meeeee! But I calculated it out, and taking a vacation from work costs waaaaaay too much in terms of money I could earn but wouldn't! I do have a house with a big yard, a convertible, and a horse to think about saving money to get - not to mention the necessities like paying my electric bill, and eating!

Today at work, I'm getting another new assignment to work on some of the senior partner's cases - very exciting! I don't think he'd keep giving me work to do if he didn't think I produced quality work. At least I hope so - my ego would just LOVE to think that!

Yesterday, Jen and I had lunch at the newly opened Baton Rouge VooDoo BBQ, and it was just as good as the one on the Lakefront in New Orleans that flooded. I wonder if that will be re-opening?

I worked out this morning, so I feel GREAT! Ready, willing, and able to tackle a new day and beat it into submission with a jab/cross combo!

Hardbody Babs

2006-05-24T04:48:00.000-07:00

(yes, my dad's nickname for me is Babs. it has nothing to do with my name or anything - just my dad's weird sense of humor).

TURBO JAM ROCKS! I'm getting up at 5 every morning so I can get to working out by 5:30, and be cleaned up and at work by 7:30. I seriously am loving the workouts. I've done 3 of the 5 I ordered, and I really want to order more. Not only am I seeing results very quickly in terms of developing definition in my abs and thighs, but I'm also feeling super (thanks for asking)!

I really think that if I stick to this, I'll be able to get back to my pre-Katrina healthy, happy self. I feel in control of myself and life again.

This workout is worth the price. For real. Even with as many injuries as I've had in the past, and how many didn't ever heal right, I'm able to do the routines, and enjoy them, and work up more of a sweat than I ever did running! I think I'm going to be in better shape than when I was climbing competitively!

Party in da L-V!

2006-05-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

Lakeview Harbor Benefit Burger and Booze Party for WYES! You know you wanna be there!

http://lakeviewcivic.org/PRFILES/Harbor%20Sign.pdf

De-Chunkifying

2006-05-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday I finally buckled down and decided to lose the pesky "Katrina 20." I'd ordered Turbo Jam, and it's a BLAST! Anyone who likes aerobics and kickboxing workouts would probably find it a lot of fun. My goal is to lose at least 4" off my waist, at least 4-5" off my hips, 1-2" off each thigh, and the entirety of my love handles.

Wish me luck!

Funny E-mail from My Daddy

2006-05-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone

you don't want to be seen with

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or

you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of

your act.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the

very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move

faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do

something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor

covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

Casual Friday

2006-05-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

I had a great birthday, and can't wait to do it again next year, haha! My friend Ginger baked me a cake, and it was delicious. We also went for a drive with the top down (the SLK's hers, not mine) through some of my favourite residential neighborhoods in Baton Rouge. Real estate is one of my greatest loves in life, and I like to fantasize about the house I'd get if I get offered a permanent job here in Baton Rouge when I finish up with law school.

And some good news on the getting a job a year from now thing - I made it on the Chancellor's List for the second semester in a row! That's basically the equivalent of the Dean's List for those of you who go to "normal" school.

I still can't believe I got "A's" in my two hardest courses - Federal Courts and Income Tax. That's probably because those two exams TERRIFIED me, so I really buckled down and studied harder than I ever have in my life.

Today's casual day at work. I've been informed I have to wear jeans - no suits! And I'm still having a lot of trouble calling the lawyers by their first names - they're adults, and you call adults "Mr."! Yeah, I still see myself as a teenybopper, if it isn't obvious.

Well, Bob's throwing himself at the door, so I should probably go pay attention to him. Have a nice day!

Some horse pics

2006-05-17T03:47:00.000-07:00

I went riding last Saturday, and Ashley took a bunch of really great pictures of me. The horse's name is King, and he's a sweet 12-year-old American Saddlebred (ASB) chestnut gelding.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

On this day in 1982 at 06:40 a.m. CST, I was born, and there was much celebration throughout the land.

Today, I'm going to work. Probably going to have to abstract a few more depositions on this one case, and I'm going to get to write a petition! I did all the research on what the claim actually was, how to properly serve it, whether or not our client's claim had prescribed, and what was the correct procedure - and the Partner assigned to the case talked to the client, the client was overjoyed to get to move forward, so today is probably petition day! My very first one to draft, too! w00t!

After work, Ginger and I are going to celebrate with S-U-S-H-I. I looooooove sushi. Anything with raw salmon is probably my favourite.

P.S. - Thank you, Heather! I love Hello Kitty!!!

What's happenin', Hotstuff?

2006-05-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

I love it when electronic gadgets spontaneously fix themselves. I was sitting here contemplating the sheer and utter joy that accompanies not having any homework when my printer that's been broken for weeks suddenly started working. I didn't press any buttons or anything! St. Dogbert, healer of technology, must have visited while my back was turned. Sneaky little fuzzbutt!

Oh, and I feel the need to write about the most marvelous handsoap in the world. At the office, we have handsoap that comes out of the dispenser pre-sudsed. It's all soft and smells deeeelicious, and it rinses clean without having to keep scrubbing your seemingly soap-free hands to get rid of that icky slippery feeling some cheap handsoaps leave.

I also think I'm rapidly becoming an addict. To what, you might ask, and well you should. I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the hopeless void of Fresca addiction. I don't think I'd seen a Fresca in over a decade, but there they were, free to a good home, sitting all sad and lonely in the office fridge. Zero calories, zero fat, and no caffeine ... plus that crisp citrus-y goodness ... you can't go wrong!

You might think I use the exclamation point too much, but I'm really that excited by self-foaming handsoap and Fresca. Really!

tons and tons of news

2006-05-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

1) I LOVE MY JOB!!!!! I've been writing memoranda for the real lawyers, drawing up witness lists, abstracting depositions, researching all kinds of arcane subjects, and loving every minute of it. I can't wait to be a full-fledged lawyer so I can do this all day and not have to do homework or take exams!

2) Tomorrow's my birthday. The big 2-4! I'm almost to the quarter-century mark.

3) By this time next year, I'll be done with law school, and preparing for the bar exam.

4) I've gotten 4 of my 6 grades so far, and I was more than pleased. I even got an "A" in Income Tax I! It's a friggin' miracle!

Lady in Ruby Red

2006-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

You Are Ruby Red

You are warm and inviting - yet a little wild and outrageous.
Well aware that you have a dual personality, you work it as much as you can!
You like for people to be comfortable around you, but not at the expense of you stealing the limelight.
Popular and well known, you make friends easily. You have your big personality to thank for that.

What Color Red Are You?

Liuzza's Grand Re-Opening!

2006-05-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

Liuzza's Restaurant, a great Mid City tradition that flooded, is re-opening today! Needless to say, I'm going to head down for that. Any business that chooses to come back deserves our support. It's really hard work renovating, and even harder to find workers. The repairs on my parents' home which was severely wind-damaged (4 trees on the roof, etc.) will not begin until October, because that's when the contractor can start work - their house is a low priority because it's livable, albeit somewhat stinky. My parents will have been back in the house for mere days shy of a year when the repairs begin.

Last night was a BLAST! I don't know how many margaritas I had, and I lost count of coconut rum shots at about 6. All hail Craig, driver of the night! Sadly, I didn't remember to take any pictures! And the big shame of that is I actually looked pretty hawt last night, which is a rarity for me.

A 2L No Longer!

2006-05-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, assuming I passed all 6 of my classes, I am now officially a 3rd year Law Student! w00t! I am now basking in Margarita Happiness! Feliz Cinco de Mayo, y'all!

Wheeeeee!

2006-05-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

Thank heavens I'm an early riser. I woke up this morning to my alarm blinking "12:00" and the sun streaming through the blinds - the power went off some time in the night, and my alarm didn't go off! I was about to throw a panicky fit, but then I checked my wristwatch - 6:30 a.m. I hadn't slept through the exam!

Gadgets and What-nots

2006-05-04T16:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I finally brought my good laptop in to Best Buy for a new hard drive. Hopefully, I'll get it back in a couple of days, then I can enjoy it until it dies again. As is, I'm hoping and praying my older, crappy laptop doesn't crap out on me in the middle of my last exam. I'm almost more worried about that than the exam itself. I get the "blue screen of death" with alarming frequency, but nobody's been able to find anything wrong with it other than old age. And before you start calling me a spoiled brat for having 2 laptops, must I remind you that I am physically handicapped and it's hard for me to sign my name much less take notes by hand. If I'm laptopless, I don't get to write. C'est la vie, and I'm getting used to it, but I'd sell your mom to be able to hand-write again.

My printer has given up the ghost for the time being, but I'm hoping Darrell can fix it. He's the technology guru, and he's like 6'6" or something so he can change my a/c filters and lightbulbs when he comes over. Thank the Lord he lives just down the street - I don't know what I'd do without him!

Oh, and I got a cute little digicam on sale. It's a 5.1 megapixel Nikon that fits in my pocket and was on sale. Did I mention it was on sale? I love Nikons, by the way. I have an ancient Nikon F (like late 1960s) SLR that I use for my real photography, but I like having a digicam for snapshots and taking out places. And those waterproof funsavers ROCK for whitewater rafting trips! I really want to do the Chattooga IV again, and the Nantahala Outdoor Center's doing a new river for the first time this year - the Cheoah or something like that. It's been dammed for decades, but not it's run-able. I wanna do it!

And I'm really scared of the exam tomorrow. Really, really, really scared!

If You're Freaking And You Know It, Clap Your Hands

2006-05-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

One exam to go, and it's tomorrow, and I don't know nearly enough! Help! I kinda think I understand Rooker-Feldman sort of, I kinda think I understand 1983 actions, I might sort of understand immunity, abstention and I are rapidly becoming buddies, and I need a new digital camera. I'm sitting here looking at my wonderful, ancient little digicam that was a 20th birthday present (my 24th is less than 2 weeks away! Send presents!) and noting the swaths of duct tape and packing tape that are holding it together. I'm getting the feeling that about half of my tax refund is going to a new little camera that will be severely lacking in the duct tape department.

5 Classes Down ...

2006-05-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

My wireless internet connection is providing me with a super suckfest, and has been since the big storm this past weekend. I keep moving my little receiver around the room. Right now, it's sitting on a pile of Nain rug which is on top of a daybed, and it's apparently not working again.

I turned in my Legal Professions/Professional Responsibility/Ethics/Whatever Else Ya Wanna Call It exam about 2 hours ago. It was a take-home exam, and it was open book. If I don't do well, I'm probably defective. Someone should order a recall on me.

That means I've totally finished 5 of my 6 classes. My first exam was Federal Income Tax I, and it was a giant beast. I'll get my grade for that on Monday, though my professor assures me I did fine. I won't believe it until I see it. The second was Maritime Personal Injuries. The professor already posted grades, and even though it was one of the most conceptually difficult courses I've taken in my over 20 years of schooling, I totally kicked booty! 4th in my class! *throws self a mini-party*. The next exam was Business Associations I. That was a doozy because of the sheer volume of material. My condensed outline was over 90 pages long, single-spaced and 12 point Times New Roman. If it takes the professor half as long to grade the exams as I spent studying for that one, I expect to see a grade sometime around when the sun goes Supernova. Still, no matter how I did, that was by far one of my favourite classes. Partnerships, Corporations, Sole Proprietorships, LLCs, LLPs, LPs, Partnerships in Commendam, etc. are all super duper interesting as far as I'm concerned. Have I ever mentioned that I'm a sucker for the details?

But, you might say, that's only four exams, four classes, and you said you were done with five of six! Indeed I did, because International Criminal Law was a paper seminar class. I wrote an essay something over 40 pages with close to 200 footnotes on Forced Disappearance of Persons as an International Criminal Law Issue. I also did an hour-long powerpoint presentation on the subject. It was really fascinating, and I intend to continue researching the subject in my "spare time" if I ever have any.

That leaves me with Federal Courts to go. It's a HUGE volume of material. I mean HUGE. It covers everything from in personam jurisdiction to Sec. 1983 actions to the multiple abstention doctrines. If you want your eyes to roll back in your head as you foam at the mouth, I'll explain the difference between Thibodeaux abstention and Colorado River abstention. What do you mean, you don't care? You should, dammit.

If it's not obvious, right now I'm taking a little break from studying. I'm reaching the point of complete and total burn out merged with fundamental emotional and physical exhaustion. That's why Cinco de Mayo is gonna kick so much @$$. My last exam will be over by early afternoon on Friday, after which I'm headin' to Serrano's for margaritas, after which I'm headin' to the last TGIF of the year at Fred's.

Some day, I really have to blog about The Fred's Experience. For now, I'll just leave it at there's a professionally-stuffed moose back-end mounted on the wall. Let your imaginations go wild, and then I'll explain later why your imaginations were just not up to picturing the marvel that is The Fred's Experience.

Maybe I'll take pictures Friday night, if I'm sober enough to remember which end of the camera is up.

Exams??? We don't need no stinkin' exams!!!!

2006-05-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

Well, my take-home final is due at 3:09 p.m. CST today. I'm putting on the finishing touches. Tres exciting, lemme tell you.

I just got a tax refund I wasn't expecting - not much, but probably enough for a trip to Astroworld for some roller coaster goodness, or maybe a weekend in Florida or something fun! Or maybe I'll just be boring and invest it toward getting my first horse or my first convertible.

I'm a little worried about my Federal Courts exam Friday. My professor is too bright for his own good (Yale graduate, OMG!), and he's very detail oriented. The exam's open book, but that really doesn't make that much of a difference.

Who wants to come roller coastering with me? None of my friends or family like them. My dad could barely handle the Ladybug in City Park, and neither he nor my mom could survive the Ferris Wheel! Am I doomed to a life of roller coaster loneliness? Say it ain't so!

Legal Profession

2006-05-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

I'm about to start my professional responsibility exam! Wish me luck!

Very Busy Day, But Probably Not Very Exciting

2006-05-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be very busy, and probably somewhat less than very exciting. The fun part is going to be lunch. I'm meeting my very nice co-workers for lunch at Ninfa's, which is supposed to be a really really good Mexican restaurant. I haven't been there yet. I'm pretty excited and all. I start work on Monday, and I intend to put in as many hours as is humanly possible and do the best work I can. I not only want to do that because I'm somewhat OCD and really enjoy working and working and working, but also because I really like these people and want to make a good impression.

The less than fun part is that I'm picking up my Legal Professions take-home exam, which is due 24 hours after I pick it up. Legal Professions is the lawyer ethics class. The more I've read in the casebook, the more I wonder about my fellows who also chose this as a profession. Like the guy who microwaved an opposing party's cat during a deposition. Or the guys who launder money for their clients. Or the ones who embezzle funds. Or the ones who intimidate witnesses. I suppose every profession has its share of @$$holes, but the unethical lawyers seem best known. I mean, how many jokes come to mind when I say "legal ethics"? And most of y'all probably haven't read many real life cases of bad bad bad lawyers - lawyers just have that reputation!

Laissez les "o.k." temps rouler!

Why I Won't Be Taking Clients Golfing

2006-05-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

Lawyers seem to be known for their tennis and golf skills. When it comes to golf, I'm well-known for the great distances achieved by the clods of dirt I hit. The ball, on the other hand, continues to elude the head of my club as it sits mocking me on its tee. However, the only sport I'm worse at than golf has to be tennis. Last time I went to the country club to try to play a game, I had to leave the court before THEY arrived to kindly escort me off the premises for interrupting the other ladies' games in a most hazardous fashion. If I hadn't been trying SO HARD, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so mortified each time my ball would sail serenely over the net of the court on the other side of the fence.

As a kid, I was the master of putt-putt and bumper boats down in Key West, but the image of some CEO or physician trying not to hit the windmill blades just doesn't quite fit, and bumper boats are doubtless ripe for tort liability. It's a real shame you can't take clients on whitewater kayaking trips or on a nice horseback ride, because I'm even better at those things than putt-putt or bumper boats, but the liability issues that would create would be hair-raising, to say the least.

Maybe I should just get myself a sexy ferrari and let my clients ogle that for hours as entertainment.

A Brief Introduction

2006-05-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

The first year, they scare you to death.

The second year, they work you to death.

The third year, they bore you to death.

After being scared to death then worked to death, I cannot begin to describe how enjoyable being bored to death sounds!

As of right now, I'm a 23-year-old student at LSU's Paul M. Hebert School of Law. I'm in the very busy process of finishing up finals from my second year. This past weekend, while studying for Professions (a legal ethics class, exam tomorrow) and Federal Courts (a procedural class with constitutional law elements, exam this friday), I recognized the pressing need to distract myself with something other than Law and Order re-runs. Next week, things should start getting interesting again, at least by law school standards. Next week is when I start my job clerking at a small Baton Rouge law firm with an office in Washington, D.C.

I wanted to blog about the idiosynchrosies so inherent in the law school experience, from self-flushing toilets that don't to terrorism by exam, from complete computer meltdown to TGIF parties at Fred's.