Livin' It Up Law School Style

The First Year, They Scare You To Death;
The Second Year, They Work You To Death;
The Third Year, They Bore You To Death.

Glimpses into the oh-so-exciting life of a 3rd year student at LSU Law School

6/16/2006

I can't take credit for this, but I love it!

Its hurricane season again! Monitor developments and take storm prep seriously. See complete details below.

Mandatory evacuation

1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
Clamato
Prune juice

Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof (even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it) if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

Category 5

1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice

Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

Cone of probability

1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone

Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Bryan Norcross say it, drink two shots consecutively.

Feeder band

2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream

After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.

Beach erosion

1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw

Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving you’re a$$ back to New Jersey where it belongs.

Downed power line

1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola

Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television.

Flood zone

2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
4 oz. rum

Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.

Cold shower

2 oz. Blue Aftershock
4 oz. Sprite

Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.

Looters will be shot

1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt

Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his a$$ with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

The chain saw

1 oz. Goldschläger
1 oz. Rumplemintz
3 oz. Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth

Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

Four-way stop

1 1/2 oz. vodka
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori
1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano
1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living c#*p out of him.

Blue tarp

1 1/2 oz. Hpnotiq
2 oz. pineapple juice
Splash of lime

Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.

FEMA fizzle

1 oz. Southern Comfort
2 oz. sloe gin
Tonic water
1 nut brownie

One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie. Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, "Doing a heckuva job!"

5 Comments:

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Shee-it. Just hook yourself up a vodka IV and be done with it.

 
At 3:01 AM, Blogger LSULawChick said...

but where's the fun in that? The joy of hurricane parties is trying to remember the recipe for rum on the rocks by the time the 'cane actually makes landfall!

 
At 6:20 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Just gimme a hot buttered rum. Over ice, hold the butter.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger LSULawChick said...

Several news stations actually have footage of a girl running around on the Lake Pontchartrain levee brandishing a large plastic cup full of ...? I wonder who that girl could be!

 
At 3:40 PM, Blogger LSULawChick said...

*hurricane footage of ...

 

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