Livin' It Up Law School Style

The First Year, They Scare You To Death;
The Second Year, They Work You To Death;
The Third Year, They Bore You To Death.

Glimpses into the oh-so-exciting life of a 3rd year student at LSU Law School

6/26/2006

Headlines from the year 2034

Headlines from the year 2034



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest

country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White

minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third

language.



Spotted owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and

livestock.





Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.



Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.



Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in Bushra, the American

Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria

and Lebanon).



Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more

years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.



France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica!



Castro finally dies at age 115; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,

but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and

reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter

speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.



Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.



Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their

civil rights.



Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly

swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January,

2036.



Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political

contributions to campaign accounts.



Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with

congressman.



IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.



Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

5 Comments:

At 8:18 AM, Anonymous Emperor Palpatine said...

Another one: Democrats lose another election; Moonbats still crazy

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger LSULawChick said...

I think that was a given, EP. I just gave a liberal professor a heart attack by claiming that Fox News is tending to be a bit liberal for my tastes. He turned purple.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Now if he had STAYED purple, you would have done your Good Deed for the Day.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger LSULawChick said...

purple nurple? what?

 
At 8:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great list! LOL!

 

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